I should really stop crying. This is my 2nd time in less than 7 days. Almost my third, if I didn't resist the time when I almost cried.

Another sad post today.

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Today I found out that what I hated most was not school, was not choir. I hated myself. For being born into somewhere where the outcomes of decisions are usually negative.

As most of you know, I was forced into RGS.

I think I'm a total liar.

I can't really say I was "forced".

What my parents did do was to give me that look when I said that I didn't want to go to RGS. They sort of "asked" me, "You're going to choose RGS, right?" with the answer in their mind already.

You could say I was sort of pressured.

However, I've not really mentioned about the other half of the story.

I was sort of pressured to go into Dunman High too. By my sisters.

Everytime I mention my school now, they are the first to snide at it and to just insult it. And it sort of sucks. I don't know what I did that made them insult my school instead of me. The feeling is worse when they do that. So much worse. It just makes me regret not going to Dunman High. I'm starting to pity myself. That's one thing Auntie Maureen told us never to do.

I think RGS is a nice school. If you're willing to adapt there, you'll find time enjoyable there.

I guess it's all my fault that I wasn't able to adapt there. I have this feeling that the people in my class think I'm some kind of weird person who cracks at weird jokes and only weird jokes. I also think that the people in choir think I'm some ultra-quiet freak who hates socialising and makes no effort to try to be friendly or gain respect.

I don't blame those people. It has been my fault that I didn't do anything to just... go out there and have fun.

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I hate it when my sister makes remarks about my school.

Here is an example of one:

"RGS is a school for whining bitches."

I admit I was a whining bitch at that time before she made that remark, but I don't know why she must do this to me. Why my school? At some points of my life I really HATE RGS for some areas, but when our school wins competitions or does something great I'm really proud of them.

I haven't been able to accept the fact that RGS is my school.

I'm so silly.

I should really stop crying. This is my 2nd time in less than 7 days. Almost my third, if I didn't resist the time when I almost cried.

Another sad post today.

---

Today I found out that what I hated most was not school, was not choir. I hated myself. For being born into somewhere where the outcomes of decisions are usually negative.

As most of you know, I was forced into RGS.

I think I'm a total liar.

I can't really say I was "forced".

What my parents did do was to give me that look when I said that I didn't want to go to RGS. They sort of "asked" me, "You're going to choose RGS, right?" with the answer in their mind already.

You could say I was sort of pressured.

However, I've not really mentioned about the other half of the story.

I was sort of pressured to go into Dunman High too. By my sisters.

Everytime I mention my school now, they are the first to snide at it and to just insult it. And it sort of sucks. I don't know what I did that made them insult my school instead of me. The feeling is worse when they do that. So much worse. It just makes me regret not going to Dunman High. I'm starting to pity myself. That's one thing Auntie Maureen told us never to do.

I think RGS is a nice school. If you're willing to adapt there, you'll find time enjoyable there.

I guess it's all my fault that I wasn't able to adapt there. I have this feeling that the people in my class think I'm some kind of weird person who cracks at weird jokes and only weird jokes. I also think that the people in choir think I'm some ultra-quiet freak who hates socialising and makes no effort to try to be friendly or gain respect.

I don't blame those people. It has been my fault that I didn't do anything to just... go out there and have fun.

---

I hate it when my sister makes remarks about my school.

Here is an example of one:

"RGS is a school for whining bitches."

I admit I was a whining bitch at that time before she made that remark, but I don't know why she must do this to me. Why my school? At some points of my life I really HATE RGS for some areas, but when our school wins competitions or does something great I'm really proud of them.

I haven't been able to accept the fact that RGS is my school.

I'm so silly.